Bullying Information for Middle School Parents

Definition of Bullying:  Bullying is commonly understood as behavior that: (a) is intended to cause mental distress and or physical harm, (b) exists in a relationship in which there is an imbalance of power and strength, and (c) is repeated over time.

Definition of Cyberbullying:  Cyberbullying is when a student is tormented, threatened, harassed, humiliated, embarrassed or otherwise targeted by another student using electronic communication media.  Such media includes, but is not limited to, e-mail messages, text messages, social networking sites, internet based video sites and posting of blogs.

Bullying Prevention Tips for Parents:

Parents play a central role in preventing bullying and stopping it when it happens:

• Teach your child to solve problems without using violence and praise them when they do.
• Help give your child self-confidence to stand up for what they believe in.
• Ask your child about their day and listen to them when they talk about school, social events, their classmates, and any problems they have.
• Take bullying seriously. Many kids are embarrassed to say they have been bullied.
• If you see bullying, stop it right away, even if your child is the one doing the bullying.
• Encourage your child to help others who need it.
• Children will model the behavior of their parents and family environment. Please consider this in your daily interactions with your child/children as well as what they are exposed to in the media (TV, music, movies, etc).

Recognize the Signs of a Student Who May be Bullied:

• Many school absences
• Anxiety about attending school
• Withdrawal from peers and social activities
• Unusual sadness
• Frequent visits to the school nurse
• Unexplained cuts or bruises
• Fear of walking home/riding the school bus
• A decline in academic performance or motivation

Is My Child a Bully?

This is a difficult question for any parent to consider.  The following signs may indicate your student has bullied others.

• Talks about other children in a negative way (wimp, loser, stupid).
• Talks as though other children deserve what happens to them (he asked for it).
• Doesn’t seem to care about others’ feelings.
• Behaves in a rough way towards others.
• Shows defiance (You can’t tell me what to do!).
• Is easily frustrated when they don’t get their own way.
• Is accused of bullying.
• Gets in trouble at school or elsewhere for fighting or saying mean things.

Cyberbullying Tips for Parents:

• Keep the computer in a common area of the house.
• Ask your child to tell you immediately about any uncomfortable online experiences, with assurances that you will not be angry if he or she confides in you.
• Consider the age of your child before allowing them on social networking sites.
• Consider filtering and monitoring software.
• Create a written internet safety plan with your child.  Set rules for internet and e-mail use. Post these rules by your computer.
• Save or print inappropriate messages and pictures that your child has received.
• Contact your internet service provider and file a complaint if your child receives messages or images of concern.
• Talk frequently with your child.  Discuss their online friends just as you talk about their other friends.

Resources for Parents:

• http://Netsmart.org: A kid friendly online workshop hosted by the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children.
• http://ncpc.org:  The National Crime Prevention Council offers great information on many related topics including bullying and cyberbullying.
• http://safe.org:  Internet safety education endorsed by the US Congress.
• http://wiredsafety.org:  Free resource focusing on internet safety, help and education for internet users of all ages.
• http://getnetwise.org:  A public service site by internet industry corporations and public interest organizations.